英語翻譯與寫作之適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)

“適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)”的八大技巧

廣東省中山市第一中學(xué)  吳榮華

近幾年全國及各省高考卷的書面表達(dá)所提供的要點(diǎn)信息都較為簡單，但同時也指出“可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫”。這種靈活的命題方式既給了學(xué)生較大的發(fā)揮空間，又對學(xué)生提出了更高要求。寫作時，有些學(xué)生僅僅簡單翻譯所給信息點(diǎn)，文章就顯得單調(diào)乏味，字?jǐn)?shù)不足，達(dá)不到交際的目的。還有些學(xué)生信口開河，信馬由韁，結(jié)果詳略不當(dāng)，偏離主題。此時，我們應(yīng)該合理拓展顯性信息，運(yùn)用以下技巧挖掘隱性信息，才能做到適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)。

一、增加原因細(xì)節(jié)

(2008全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文)參加中文學(xué)習(xí)班；

Here are a few suggestions. First, it isimportant to take a Chinese course, as you’ll be able to learn from theteacher and practice with your fellow students.以下是幾點(diǎn)建議。首先，上漢語課很重要，因?yàn)槟隳芟蚶蠋煂W(xué)習(xí)，和同學(xué)們一起練習(xí)。

(2013山東卷書面表達(dá)范文)你假期的打算(如做兼職、旅行、做志愿者等)。

During the holiday, I am going to do apart-time job. On the one hand, I can earn some money to reduce the burdenof my family. On the other hand, I can accumulate some social experience, whichdoes good to my future life.假期期間，我打算做一份兼職工作。一方面，我可以賺點(diǎn)錢減輕家庭負(fù)擔(dān)。另一方面，我可以積累社會經(jīng)驗(yàn)，這對我的未來生活有益。

(2014江西卷書面表達(dá)范文)其他方面：考生自擬。Finally,we should take part in sports and outdoor activities frequently, which arereally helpful to build up my body and enrich my school life.最后，我們應(yīng)該經(jīng)常參加體育運(yùn)動和戶外活動，因?yàn)樗鼈冋娴挠兄趶?qiáng)身健體，豐富校園生活。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在活動類的要點(diǎn)信息后增加原因細(xì)節(jié)，用以解釋或說明做某事的原因，使內(nèi)容更充實(shí)。常用的原因表達(dá)法包括because/as引導(dǎo)的原因狀語從句、介詞for/because of, which等引導(dǎo)的定語從句，非謂語動詞和一些句式等等。

即時練習(xí)：

⑴(2014重慶卷)你收到或送出的最好禮物是什么。

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⑵(2012天津卷) 提出邀請(邀請他一起觀看演出)，簡述原因。

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⑶(2015四川卷)給出講好普通話的兩點(diǎn)建議；

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⑷(2015云南高三二模)呼吁大家做文明游客：尊重習(xí)俗；

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二、增加結(jié)果細(xì)節(jié)

(2011全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文) 贊賞該報優(yōu)點(diǎn)：①兼顧國內(nèi)外新聞；②介紹名人成功故事

First, it covers both national andinternational news so that, by simply turning the pages, I can learn allimportant things that have happened during the week. Equally attractive arethe success stories of world-famous people, which help me understand how aperson can work hard to make the world a better place. 首先，它報道了國內(nèi)和國際新聞，以至于僅僅翻一下頁面，我就能了解本周發(fā)生的所有重要的事情。同樣吸引人的是名人的成功故事，他們的故事幫助我理解一個人怎樣努力使世界變得更美好。

(2012山東卷書面表達(dá)范文)①堅(jiān)持寫英語日記的作用；②英文閱讀網(wǎng)站(EnjoyReading)對你的幫助。

I also find it useful to keep Englishdiaries, which is helpful to my English. As a saying goes, practice makesperfect. Only by practice will we make more progress. Finally, some goodEnglish study websites contribute a lot to my improvement. Through thesewebsites, I can read some classic English passages, poems and stories. What’smore, I can learn some learning skills and methodologies, which play animportant part in my study process.我也覺得寫英語日記很有用，因?yàn)檫@對有助于我學(xué)英語。俗話說，熟能生巧。只有通過練習(xí)我們才能取得更大進(jìn)步。最后，一些英語學(xué)習(xí)網(wǎng)站也有助于我的進(jìn)步。通過這些網(wǎng)站，我能閱讀一些經(jīng)典的英語文章、詩歌和故事。此外，我還能學(xué)會一些學(xué)習(xí)技巧和方法，這些在學(xué)習(xí)過程中起著重要的作用。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在要點(diǎn)信息后增加結(jié)果細(xì)節(jié)，說明做某事的結(jié)果，使內(nèi)容更完善。常用的結(jié)果表達(dá)法包括so that(以至于)，so/such…that…(如此…以至…)等引導(dǎo)的結(jié)果狀語從句，which等引導(dǎo)的定語從句和非謂語動詞等等。

即時練習(xí)：

⑸(2012遼寧卷) (現(xiàn)在使用的英語教材)優(yōu)點(diǎn)：①話題廣泛；②圖片豐富;

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⑹(2011安徽卷) 本期校報話題是如何解決學(xué)習(xí)中遇到的困難。

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⑺(2017天一大聯(lián)考)活動內(nèi)容：中美學(xué)生互動。

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三、增加目的細(xì)節(jié)

(2016全國Ⅰ卷書面表達(dá)范文)暑假想去一家外貿(mào)公司兼職。

In order to get some practicalexperience, I am planning to take a part-time jobin a foreign capital company. 為了得到一些實(shí)踐經(jīng)驗(yàn)，我計(jì)劃在一家外資公司做兼職。

(2015四川卷書面表達(dá)范文)提出你學(xué)習(xí)英語的具體需求。So,if you allow me to help you learn Mandarin, you can also help me improve myEnglish. We can contact each other by video chat every night for half an hourin English and half an hour in Chinese, so that we can improve our oralspeaking.因此,如果你讓我?guī)湍銓W(xué)漢語，你也可以幫我提高英語。我們每晚可以通過視頻聊天保持聯(lián)系，半小時說英語半小時說漢語，以便能提高口語。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在要點(diǎn)信息的前后增加目的細(xì)節(jié)，說明做某事的目的，使內(nèi)容更豐富。常用的目的表達(dá)法包括in order that(為了)/so that(以便)等引導(dǎo)的目的狀語從句，inorder to動詞不定式，which等引導(dǎo)的定語從句等等。

即時練習(xí)：

⑻(2013天津卷) ②組織校內(nèi)的活動的設(shè)想(如舉辦講座、英語晚會等)；③組織校際交流活動的設(shè)想(如舉辦辯論賽、演講比賽等)

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⑼(2013山東卷)你假期的打算(如做兼職、旅行、做志愿者等)

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⑽(2015云南高三二模)呼吁大家做文明游客：不高聲喧嘩；

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⑾(2013四川卷)介紹一種好的學(xué)習(xí)習(xí)慣并提出養(yǎng)成該習(xí)慣的建議；

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四、增加條件細(xì)節(jié)

(2015全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文) Ifyou are able to come with us, please let us know and we’ll wait for you atthe gate at 9 in themorning. 如果你能來，請讓我們知道，我們上午九點(diǎn)會在門口等你。

(2013全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文) Ifanyone wants to know more about the knots, let them write to me. Also, dolet me know if you need further information. Thank you! 如果有人想更多了解中國結(jié)，讓他們寫信給我。而且，如果你需要更多信息一定要讓我知道。謝謝。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在文章結(jié)尾增加條件細(xì)節(jié)，說明做某事的條件，使內(nèi)容更禮貌。常用的條件表達(dá)法是if引導(dǎo)的條件狀語從句、非謂語、定語從句和獨(dú)立主格結(jié)構(gòu)等等。

即時練習(xí)：

⑿(2016全國Ⅱ卷) (照片)投稿郵箱：intlphotoshow@gmschool.com.

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⒀(2015天津卷)詢問對方的其他需求。

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⒁(2015北京卷)詢問對方的意向。

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五、增加過程細(xì)節(jié)

(2015全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文) (敬老院)活動：包餃子、表演節(jié)目等。

We’ll go andmake dumplings and cakes with the elderly people there. We’ll alsospend some fun time together singing, dancing and playing games, whichwe hope will make them happy.

我們將去那兒與老人一起包餃子、做蛋糕。我們也會一起開心地唱歌、跳舞和做游戲，我們希望這些活動會使他們開心。

(2012全國Ⅱ卷書面表達(dá)范文)生日聚會內(nèi)容:生日歌、蛋糕、游戲等

When he comes, we’ll light the candles and sing “Happy Birthday” together for him.Then the cake will be cut and we’ll sing songs and play games. It’llbe nice to see how excited he will be.

他來的時候我們會點(diǎn)亮蠟燭，一起為他唱生日快樂歌。接著切蛋糕唱歌做游戲。很高興看見他多么激動。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在文章中增加過程細(xì)節(jié)，說明做某事的過程，使內(nèi)容更詳細(xì)。

即時練習(xí)：

⒂(2013江西卷) (登山)活動的過程；

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⒃(2017廣東中山期末統(tǒng)測)(學(xué)校高中英語口語大賽)目的和方式；

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⒄(2007四川卷)你高考后的暑期安排：③陪伴父母；④參加社會活動；

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六、增加舉例細(xì)節(jié)

(2014全國Ⅱ卷書面表達(dá)范文)業(yè)余生活。

In my free time, I’ll continue to takeregular exercise, such as swimming, running and various ball games. On myholidays, I'll travel around the world. In a word, my life will be much richerand more colorful.我有空時會繼續(xù)經(jīng)常鍛煉，比如游泳、跑步和各種球類運(yùn)動。假期我會環(huán)游世界?？傊?，我的生活將會更加豐富多彩。

(2011全國Ⅰ卷書面表達(dá)范文) 學(xué)習(xí)暑期課程遇到一些困難，求助內(nèi)容：希望得到學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)中心(Learning Center)的幫助。

But I have some difficulties withnote-taking and I have no idea of how to use the library. I was told the Learning Center provides help for students andI’m anxious to get help from you. 但是我在做筆記方面有困難，而且不知道如何使用圖書館。我得知學(xué)校輔導(dǎo)中心可以為學(xué)生提供幫助，因此渴望得到你們的幫助。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以對要點(diǎn)信息進(jìn)行舉例說明，使內(nèi)容更具體。常用的舉例表達(dá)法有介詞such as/like/including和for example等。

即時練習(xí)：

⒅(2013安徽卷) (“講求文明，從我做起”)①遵守交通法規(guī)；②注意舉止文明。

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⒆(2014天津卷)希望Chris做哪些事情，以增進(jìn)中美學(xué)生之間的了解和友誼。

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⒇(2012四川卷)③自己英語學(xué)習(xí)存在的主要問題；④對(英語老師)教學(xué)的兩點(diǎn)建議。

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七、增加過渡細(xì)節(jié)

(2013全國Ⅱ卷滿分作文)By the way, do you know what they stand for？How can we solve the problems then?As far as I’m concerned, riding bicycles is a good solution. 順便說一下，你知道他們代表什么嗎？我們?nèi)绾尾拍芙鉀Q問題呢？我認(rèn)為，騎單車是一個好的解決方法。

(2012陜西卷書面表達(dá)范文)Firstly, I collected all the books, newspapers and otherthings scattered in the rooms and put them in place. Then I wiped thedust off all the furniture. After that, I swept and mopped the floors. 首先,我把所有的書籍、報紙和其他的散落在屋子里的東西收集起來放好,接著我掃去所有家具上的灰塵,然后我掃地、拖地。

點(diǎn)撥：可以在文章中增加過渡細(xì)節(jié)，將各個要點(diǎn)和文章各部分之間銜接起來，使內(nèi)容更連貫。常用插入語來表示過渡，如worse still, besides等形容詞和副詞，to tell the truth, generally speaking等非謂語，by the way, in a word等介詞短語，if you please, as we all know等從句，what’s more, as far as I’m concerned等分句。

即時練習(xí)：

(21)(2013四川卷)____________(正如我們所知), good learning habits contribute to efficient study. __________(也就是說), without good learning habits,the efficiency cannot be guaranteed.

(22)(2011江西卷) ____________(一方面), bicycles don’t need any petrol and they are energy–saving. ___________(另一方面), bicycles are environmentallyfriendly because they won’t give off waste gas. ___________(此外), riding bicycles is a good wayfor us to exercise and it is beneficial to our health. ___________(總之), I am sure the show will befantastic if it is held in Shanghai Museum.

(23)(2013上海卷) ____________ (更重要的是), not only do I have perfect and enough learning materials, but Ialso have rich experience. ____________(最后但也很重要的是), I have joined a variety of activities in and out of the school. __________(總之), I think I have thequalification to be a tutor.

八、增加展望細(xì)節(jié)

(2012全國Ⅱ卷書面表達(dá)范文)I’m sure you’ll have a good time at the party, too. 我確信你在聚會上也會玩得很高興。

(2011全國II卷書面表達(dá)范文)提出建議：刊登指導(dǎo)英語學(xué)習(xí)的文章。

As a young student, I suggest that GlobalMirror carry articles to guide us in our English learning, and I hope thatit will become even more popular. 作為一名年輕學(xué)生，我建議Global Mirror周報刊登文章引導(dǎo)我們學(xué)習(xí)英語，我希望它會變得更加受歡迎。

(2016天津卷書面表達(dá)范文)表達(dá)祝愿與期望。Atlast，on behalf ofall the students in our school，I wish you will have a safe and happy journey home and that therewill be more programs like this in the future. 最后，代表我校全體同學(xué)，我祝你回家旅途平安快樂，將來會有更多像這樣的項(xiàng)目活動。

點(diǎn)撥：有時可以在文章結(jié)尾增加展望細(xì)節(jié)，用來總結(jié)全文且展望前景，使內(nèi)容更全面。常用I hope, I’m sure, I wish, I believe等句式表示展望。

即時練習(xí)：

(24) (2015陜西卷) 我相信我能不辜負(fù)你們的期望。如果你能考慮一下我我會十分感激。

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(25) (2011浙江卷) 我相信，在老師和同學(xué)們的共同努力下，我校在不久的將來會變成一個更加快樂的地方。感謝你的考慮。

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(26) (2013安徽卷) 我希望我的行為會起到作用。

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(27)(2014上海卷)在這里我希望我的建議能為我校英語報的改版增添壯麗的一筆。

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(28)(2014江西卷) 不勞無獲。我相信在你的努力下，你會在這里過上豐富多彩富有成效的生活。

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總之，增加細(xì)節(jié)應(yīng)該畫龍點(diǎn)睛而非畫蛇添足。這就要求學(xué)生根據(jù)背景、主題、常識、題材、體裁以及所給信息，從實(shí)際需要出發(fā)，短話長說，進(jìn)行合理有效的補(bǔ)述和追述，以使文章有血有肉、連貫飽滿。

鞏固練習(xí)：

(2017廣東七校聯(lián)考二)假定你是高中學(xué)生李華，你的美國朋友Jim即將升入中國的一所高中學(xué)習(xí)，想讓你給他一些學(xué)習(xí)建議。請你給他寫一封電子郵件，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 與老師交流，征求老師意見；

2. 上課積極參與討論，專心聽講，做好筆記；

3. 課后積極完成作業(yè)，鞏固知識。

注意：1.詞數(shù)100左右；

2.可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫。

即時練習(xí)參考答案：

⑴The best gift I’ve ever received is a book from my Englishteacher, Debbie. The book’s name is Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul: The RealDeal: Friends. I value this book because it shows me how to keep the balance offriendship in a positive way.

⑵Of course, besides going to the theater, we can do some othermeaningful things, such as visiting the museum or the art gallery nearby, whichboth contain a lot of items of great value.

⑶Learning Mandarin takes time, so if you want to learn itwell, you should spend much time practicing Mandarin everyday. As the sayinggoes, practice makes perfect. Besides, you can also read some books in Chinese、seesome Chinese films and listen to some Chinese radio programs. Speaking andlistening are very important for language learning, by which you are sure tomake great progress.

⑷Firstly, we must respect and follow local customs, becausethere are cultural differences in different countries. If Chinese people ignorethese cultural differences, they seem to behave improperly in foreigncountries.

⑸These books have many advantages. One of them is that we canfind a variety of topics, such as science, culture and history. These topics, Ithink, are very popular with us students. What’s more, along with the textsthere are many beautiful and colorful pictures, which can help us understandEnglish better.

⑹When I am faced with a difficulty, usually choose to refer torelevant learning materials or Web pages. In this way, I can not only work itout but also improve my ability to overcome problems all by myself. However,when it is something beyond my competence, I turn to my classmates or teachersfor help. Sometimes, I also ask my parents for advice. As a result, I have madesteady progress in my studies.

⑺After that, we will have some time for interactive activitiesand various questions, through which we can have a better understanding of eachother.

⑻Also, to improve our English and get more students interestedin English, I intend to organize some activities at school like lectures andEnglish parties and inter-school ones such as English debate competitions andspeech contests.

⑼By the way, I have a busy schedule for my summer vacation。Firstand foremost, I would do a part-time job so that my interpersonal skills wouldbe improved。

⑽Secondly, do not speak loudly while eating or walking so thatothers will not be disturbed.

⑾Therefore, in order to establish a good learning habit, suchas reviewing what we have studied regularly, we should revise the course wehave learned and try hard to recite something important. Only by doing this canwe learn all the courses well and achieve better grades.

⑿If you want to join, you can send your photos tointlphotoshow@gmschool.com.

⒀Should you need any other things, please do not hesitate totell us.

⒁If you are interested in it, let me know and I’ll send you more information.

⒂It was a nice day. At 8:00 am, we gathered at the foot ofDaqing Moutain and set out for the top in high spirits. All the way we werechatting, singing and laughing, enjoying the fresh air and the beautifulscenery. When some fell behind, others would come and offer help. About 2 hourslater, we all reached the top. Bathed in sunshine, we jumped and cheered withjoy.

⒃Our purpose is to give the competitors an opportunity to showtheir talents in learning English and encourage the other students to workharder. The competitors are required to give a brief self-introduction, readaloud a story by imitating and deliver a speech on the given topic within fiveminutes.

⒄I’ll spend some time staying with my parents, chatting withthem and doing some housework. They’ve done so much for me, you know. Ifpossible, I’ll take part in some social activities so that I can know moreabout the society.

⒅I will keep traffic rules in mind all the way. If I ride abicycle, I’ll always keep to the right and never cross a road until the trafficlight turns green. If I walk, I’ll never forget to use the pedestrian crossing.Meanwhile, I’ll regard it as my duty to help keep our environment clean andhealthy. Not only will I keep from littering and spitting anywhere, I will alsohelp clean up the roadside litter whenever possible.

⒆Last of all, I would appreciate it if you can do something,such as helping us practise our spoken English, and introducing something aboutAmerican culture, to promote the understanding and friendship between thestudents of the two countries.

⒇My English is just OK and the two main problems in my studyare that I feel it difficult to learn words by heart, and that I often feelnervous when speaking English. I really hope that you can give me good adviceon how to memorize new words. Another suggestion is to give us more chances topractice speaking.

(21)As we all know, Thatis to say

(22)For one thing, Foranother, What’s more, To sum up,

(23)More importantly, Lastbut not least, All in all

(24) I am sure that I canperfectly live up to your expectations. I will be grateful if you could give mea kind consideration.

(25) I believe that, withthe joint efforts of both teachers and students, our school will become a moreenjoyable place in the near future. Thank you for your consideration.

(26) I hope my behaviorwill make a difference.

(27) Here I am in thehope that my advice will add a brilliant touch to the improved version of ourschool English Post.

(28) No pains, no gains.I am sure that with your great efforts, you will enjoy a colourful and fruitfullife here.

鞏固練習(xí)參考答案：

Dear Jim,

   Having learned that you’ll be a seniorstudent, how delighted I am. In your last email you mentioned that you areconfused by how to study well in senior high school. Now, I’d like to share mystudy tips with you.

   First, you’d better communicate with yourteachers regularly. In this way, they may offer some great advice on bothyour study and life. Second, why not involve yourself in each classactively, listen to the teacher attentively and take notes carefully so thatyou can review later? Third, it’s a good idea to do your homework on timesoon after school, which will help you practice what you have learned andmake it fresh in your mind.

   I sincerely hope my advice can behelpful to you and that you can enjoy your new school life.

Best wishes!